https://www.compassionintherapy.com/stream/ron-siegel/
我覺得這兩天裡的這一堂課最精彩。
我做了一些些的筆錄，和大家分享。
Ronald Siegel, PsyD
Personal Mindfulness Practice: Letting Go of Self-Preoccupation to Deepen Connection with Clients
1. Scott Miller, clients, questionnaire (Session Rating Scale), “did you feel your therapist was present?”, “did you feel that session was useful?”, “did you feel that the therapist were understanding?”, and 讓個案感覺到治療師是 warm, empathyc and understanding. Scott Miller 注重四個elements： relationship, goals and topics, approach or method, overall.
https://www.scottdmiller.com/wp-content/uploads/documents/SessionRatingScale-JBTv3n1.pdf
2. Dan Siegel’s phrase, “feel, felt, client improves.” Dan Siegel 說過“feel felt” 很重要。According to Siegel, “feeling felt” is characteristic of secure infant-parent relationships: the more infants “feel felt”, the better their attachment and the sounder their development pathway.
https://centerforinterculturaldialogue.org/2014/01/17/feeling-felt-the-heart-of-the-dialogic-moment/
https://www.mannaz.com/en/articles/personal-growth/the-importance-of-feeling-felt/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sv2bu2KqoyI
3. Empathy, Carl Rogers so brilliantly defined empathy as “to feel the feeling of another, as if it were one’s own, but without losing perspective of ‘as if’”
4. 所以 Attument 調和 變為重要。Mindfulness 變為重要。覺察自己的身體(body)、想法(mind)、以及感受(emotion)。所以我不用太擔心我自己運用什麼學派、什麼技巧，我需要和自己有一個好好的連結。直接的，我連結好我自己，我更加比較容易開放，也更加比較感受到“對方”的感受，讓對方有一種“feeling felt”（我的感受被感受）。
5. The more we practice mindfulness, the more we’re wholeheartedly present, the more we can open our hearts, the more we can lower our defenses.
6. Be present 是 keyword.
7. 很多助人者都在一種狀態：“me (therapist) worrying about me, seeing you (client) worrying you, and judging each other.” 其實我們可以擁有另外一種角度，“me feel connected, me feel a sense of being part of a “we” with you (patient).”
8. So often make us to disconnect in therapy is we’re shutting down because it’s hard to empathically attune to others’ pain. And particularly if clients’ pain resonates with our issues, our vulnerabilities, with our unresolved small or large T trauma, then we tend to shut down when the person is talking about something that we tend to shut down on ourselves. So To the extend to which these practices allow us to open to our own broken hearts, we are able to open the broken heart of our patients.
以上這一句話，句句精准。精彩！看的很過癮。
9. Mindfulness 不僅只要我們減低壓力或者帶來生活上的舒適。反而mindfulness 引導我們去思考佛教裏所說的三法印。
第一個：Annica, 沒有永恆，無常。念頭一直改變。
第二個：Dukkha （life is suffering, the mind is frequently complaining). (if it’s not one thing, it is another. ) 講師覺得 roseanne roseannadanna 如此說是最精彩來形容 Dukkha的。 就是你的念頭一直不滿足於一個狀況，這稱為 dukkha。並非這世間充滿困難，而是你內心的不滿足製造苦難。 Your mind is always complaining about something. 即便是好的事物，我們想要它停留。壞的事物，我們想要它快點離去。 這些都是 + or － dukkha.
第三個：Anatta. （沒有一個固定的我存在著。（no solid me)）。無我就是這麼解釋。 “我”會因不同的人時空不停調整、改變。 我們對自己會有不同的描述。例如“我是輔導員、我是爸爸、我是兒子、我畫畫很差“等等。 拿走了這些形容，你會發現我一直在改變中。
10. 為甚麼覺察三法印的存在如此重要？
能洞察人事物一直在變化。
能減少我執。
能看見比自己更大的脈絡。
11. 助人者知道了三法印了，可是不代表是由助人者去把三法印解釋給個案聽。不是這樣的。
（待續）
（還有三天的課程。）
